With Magic Soakin' My Spine...

Thank goodness for the likes of that yummy Brandon Flowers. As I was running this morning, pounding along to Read My Mind, it occurred to me that I should blog about those fleeting times in life when you feel tingly from the sheer magic of a moment. Disclaimer: before you continue reading, this post is NOT about Disney or anything Disney related. That would be gross.

I spent about a mile thinking about the times in my life that I have felt giddy with possibility, or electric from sensory overload or just that I couldn't take in the brilliance that is life.



Gooooooooooo. I know.



I'll stop the schlep and just give you my list.

As an after thought, any song that distracts you from the agony of physical exertion for an entire mile is a keeper. Which is why I have that song on my ipod in the first place. *Insert smugness here*

Heiderhead's Top Life Moments.....for now ( c'mon, I'm only 27 and plan to do something besides watch t.v. between now and when they take me off the life support)

1. First Kiss - This is a rather obvious cliche. But, actually, when you think about it most first kisses are disgusting and anxiety ridden. Mine was hot! and completely perfect. It was unexpected yet desired, a little nervous but liberating and backed by 100% genuine emotion. Kissing at it's best.

2. Leaving the U.S. - not an isolated magic moment, true, however, every time I pass through customs and onto foreign soil and I am bombarded with the thought that anything could happen. As if I had stepped onto the moon and gravity had ceased to exist. All the rules have changed. People look at you and you no longer are sure of what they see. Sometimes gibberish flows out of their mouths and you realize that they are in a completely different place that you have no idea about....so much going on. Your senses are heightened. And rightly so, as you hope to smell, hear, taste, see or feel something completely foreign. Come to think of it, I feel this way every time I go to an airport. I love it there. Anybody need a ride? Call me.



3. When my first niece was born - I've never been a 'screaming uterus', term invented by Aurelius to describe the noise most women make at the sight of a baby. In fact, I've always felt a bit traitorous to the female stereotype in that respect. Until Lu came. Then it all became clear- Why this birth and baby thing is so important. The sheer science involved boggles me. The natural intelligence of the human body is astounding people. She was the first baby that I was permitted to have a relationship from the get go and boy was she amazing. Especially up close. She still is, but that first moment when I was able to touch and hear and see what we as humans are capable of was brilliant.



4- Running - I run regularly but it never ceases to be a great moment. Partly because I'm high on endorphins and partly because I loathed and avoided it for so long. In the past running was NOT something I could do. In junior high I awaited the day we would run the mile in P.E. with a vicious dread. I remember crying to Joey about it and praying to God that He would help me to face that track stretching endlessly out in the hot sun. Three days before the run I would start to taste blood in the back of my throat. Yeah. I'm serious when I say I say I didn't like to run m'friends. Oh how times have changed. And that gives me a Soaked Spine feeling - knowing that I can change. Now every time I go out for a run I get that gritty capable feeling.



Mmmmmm, this is the good beginnings of a List. I love a good list. But I'm suddenly motivated to stop blogging and go out!

What A Croc!

Lately, I have noticed that there are still alot of people still wearing those shoes that look like something that came out of a clown's wardrobe. You know what shoes I am refering to; the rubber clog-looking things that come in all the bright colors. I do not understand the fad behind these ugly monstrosities. As I walk around town I am astonished of how many young adults where these shoes. People wear these shoes like they are the poo; like they own the world. One question I have is since when is wearing shoes that senior citizens wear a hot fashion statement? And since when is wearing bright color rubber rain boots okay to wear as business casual? These rubbers have got to go!

Big T and the Ladies

This is my first attempt at blogging. I've participated in message boards but blogging just seems like an entirely different animal. My coworker, Heidi, helped me name this place. Apparently the phrase, " Just sayin" is very much apart of my vernacular. I don't know whether or not I should be embarrassed about that fact.

Tonight I am listening to my girls. The Indigo Girls, Alison Krauss, and Carole King. Their music is healing to me. Listening to melodies immediatley relaxes me. Their lyrics can make me cry. My entire sophmore year of college seems to be dominated by memories of one particular Alison Krauss album. Good stuff. This whole album is great. Depressing, but great. Almost every song is about lost love. Don't get me wrong, love hasn't done me wrong in a long time, it's the very familiar feelings of disappointment, regret, and inadequacy that I identify with lately.

Someone commented today that they were suprised by how outgoing I was. The truth is that I was extremely nervous and my nerves usually translate into increased language speed and laughter. Apparently that's pretty charming, which was nice to hear. I've been so critical of myself lately. Nothing is off limits. I catalouge all of my faults in comparison to what or, more importantly , who I feel I should be. From skinny friends to very expirenced co-workers. Then I feel guilty for focusing too much on myself and think about all the pain in the world that is greater than mine. I want to feel better, to help other people. I want to feel like I can take a seat with the grown-ups and not be stuck at the kids table. How do I do that? I don't know how to take more control over my own life. I'm just stuck.